THE questions
I genuinely would like to ask you two questions:
- How do you recognize when you are selling yourself too short? Do you have any indicator(s) that it is happening?
- Do you have a list of all the things that you do and do not deserve? How was the process of discerning them?
Recently, I have been thinking about these questions quite often. These usually pop up when my mind is inhabited by thoughts about certain people and scenarios. Or sometimes, when I am in the comfort room answering mother nature’s call. Am I selling myself too short? I thought that was something that I would never allow to happen again. Do I deserve this horrible thing that I am currently going through? I had the impression that if someone loves herself enough, that is not something she would tolerate.
These two questions have been bugging my mind for quite some time now. As you might have noticed, one question leads to impressions, notions, expectations, and whatnot. Then, they leave me deep into the abyss — down the rabbit hole that I at least had been escaping for quite some time now. What could have been straightforwardly answered is now something that I fear facing.
Am I lacking self-reflection? Or am I easily swayed by the standards of society that make me act like I am entitled to all the beautiful things in the world?
Am I surrounding myself with the wrong people? Or am I starting to build walls again — the reason why love is missing at the moment?
Does asking these questions send a message as to how insecure I am currently? Or perhaps because of the polarity of what I wanted and what I am getting in reality?
I do not know. I am muddled.
Self-awareness, I need you.
