I am tired of living this life

September 12, 2022, at 20:37

I am tired of living as a wallflower — a person kept in the corners of the room, waiting for someone to allow her to be known.

I am tired of living as a yes man — someone who could not say no, no matter how impossible the favors are; because she is kind, reliable, and responsible.

I am tired of living as a pleaser — a person who enables whatever wrongdoings others may have done and ignores her needs and boundaries just because she wants people to stay in her life.

I am tired of living as an actor — a person who has to wear her look-at-me-i-am-bubbly-so-I-am-ok mask whenever she meets the people she long to speak about the dark, deep thoughts she has in her mind.

I am tired of living as a reliever — being the person they go to because I am the only one who will go above and beyond. But more so, they know that regardless of the circumstances, I will be there for them.

I am tired of living as a prisoner — someone who has no choice but to conform to what her surroundings tell her to do because she knows she is not capable of being independent yet.

I am tired of communicating and getting brushed off in the end.

I am tired of allowing people to suck me dry.

I am starting to be weary of being aware of what is wrong but not taking action to change whatever needs to change.

I am tired of living this life. But the real question is: what are my next steps to turn the situation around?

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